Nightly Update 9/1/2013

In the News

An 80 year old weight lifter got busted using steroids.

Pettis won the lightweight title in UFC 164

Your mind can control all kinds of neat stuff

Things you probably didn’t know about Guantanamo Bay

NBA player De’andre Liggins is a punk ass who beat up his girlfriend in front of her kid

Johnny Football is really good at football, really bad at everything else

New England Patriots – “Our bad, apparently Tim Tebow sucks at football.”

Fun Links

We could watch this all day

Tons of Boobs

And this bitch lost her damn mind!

 

 

KZJ – Back on the Market

Photo by David Shankbone

Katherine Zeta Jones is filing for divorce. This means that you have a shot again (if you are rich and famous). The court order expired two years ago, so we’re stalking her again.

Amazing Water Display

This is what kind of stuff you learn if you go to a good school. I could probably figure out how they got the water white in the first place if I spent an afternoon on Google. Everything that happens after that is beyond me.

Evening Update 8/27/13

In The News

The Syrian government used chemical weapons, so sometime this week we will be hitting them with cruise missiles. Learn More

The nuclear plant that blew up after the tsunami a couple years ago is leaking radioactive water everywhere. Learn More

Miley Cyrus is an idiot and she has no ass at all. She acted like a ho at the Video Music Awards and for some reason a lot of people are acting shocked and surprised. Learn More

Hackers supporting the current regime in Syria hacked the NY Times and Twitter yesterday. Upon hearing the story, old people asked what twitter was and young people asked what the New York Times was. Learn More

Fun Links

Need some cash? Check out this link and you could earn $500

Rude baboon photobomb

A slingshot that shoots chainsaws

Our favorite youtube series – The Retarded Policeman

This badass kid with Down Syndrome could definitely beat the hell out of these sad black belts

The two worst martial arts techniques ever

Fascinating infographics comparing porn searches state by state

Even the car is curvy. Yes there is a car, you’ll see it eventually.

 

The Kizomba!

The girl’s name is Sara Lopez (we’ve never heard of her), the dance is The Kizomba (we’ve never heard of it), and the hinge in her lower spine was purchased at Ace Hardware (we’ve all heard of them).

The next time your woman wants you to take dance lessons with her, find a studio that teaches the Kizomba. Probably the sexiest Latin dance we’ve ever seen.